- COLD: I want to be one of those people that tell the people they love that they love them everyday, multiple times a day even, like my aunts and my cousins do. When I have a house and a family of my own, I want to overuse the words "I love you", if that's even possible. Because I know it shouldn't be, but in a house like the one I grew up in, it was so easy to forget that you were loved...even still. You'd literally have to remind yourself that your family loved you in case you forgot. I can already picture putting little notes in the lunches I pack for my kids that say, "I love you to the moon and back. Never forget." So if anyone ever asked them if their mom loved them my kids wouldn't hesitate before saying "Yes." instead of, "I don't know. She never tells me." which almost always translates to "I don't know. She never shows me." I'm never become unfeeling and distant, not towards my future children, not towards my future husband, not towards the rest of my family, not toward my friends, and not even towards my colleagues. Never. And a little advice to any readers out there: sometimes when life happens it seems easier to shut down and turn off your emotions, but there is someone out there that loves you and depends on you or someone waiting to love you that you just haven't met yet. Don't give up and remember not to live for yourself, but to live for others, for the people you love, and for the people that you are going to love.
- BITTER: I wanted to apologize for my-slightly bitter-first post "ONE THING". When people hurt my little sister my defenses go up which is a nice way of saying I get pissed off. You can probably relate though, and just in case you think that post was my cowardly way of venting, I actually confronted this person and told them exactly what I thought about what they were doing. Anyways, this situation dragged me back to the past, which doesn't do me or anyone else any good. The past shouldn't be drudged up. You should reflect on it, learn from it and then let it go. That's what keeps the bitterness away. I know more than most people what bitterness can do a person and I never want that to become who I am. That's why I'm letting it all go.
If I'm being honest, I don't entirely know who I am yet. I don't even know who I want to be in the future. But I can tell you some things that I'll never let myself become.
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