Some strange things have happened to me lately. But they hardly phased me. I mean I didn't even know they were strange until someone pointed it out. Weird things have always happened to me, ever since I was a little girl.

1) I have a pet rabbit in my backyard named Rex. He's actually the second rabbit that I've had. I couldn't bring myself to put my first rabbit in a cage either. The only difference is my first rabbit, Mr. Whiskers (I know. Very clever of me), only had a patio instead of a backyard because I was living in an apartment at that time. Well, I would take him outside to play in the grass. First I tried one of those special leashes that they have for rabbits, but nine year old me thought that was too inhumane. Turns out the leash wasn't needed because he followed me around anyways and always stayed close. Rex has been doing the same thing. Also when I sit on the grass, he'll hop in circles around me until I get up and leave. I sat out there for an hour just to test his resolve once and he didn't even look tired. He just kept on hopping.  Rabbits aren't the only animals that have been known to follow me around. When I was seven I had a pet lizard that would follow me around too. He eventually went blind and still managed to crawl after me. My life is so weird. Or who knows? Maybe it's not just me. 

2) Also just to share a new development, I dislocated one of my toes. I don't really know how it happened but then again that's pretty much what I say every time I get injured. I've injured my foot three times, broken a leg, broken an arm and cracked my head open starting from when I was in kindergarten. Every time you'd hear me say the same thing. "I don't know what happened." It's better than admitting that it started with me doing something stupid. It always started with me doing something stupid. 


IF YOU HAVE WEIRD PET STORIES OR "SOMETHING STUPID" STORIES THAT ENDED UP WITH YOU GETTING INJURED (EVERYBODY HAS ONE OF THOSE STORIES) GO TO MY CONTACT PAGE AND SEND IT TO ME AND I'LL POST IT TO MY "YOU'RE NOT ALONE" PAGE ALONG WITH YOUR NAME. IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS LET ME KNOW. 

Okay, so sometimes when you have big dreams and you decide to share them with someone you get this discouraging combination. They say "sounds like a lot of hard work" with this doubtful expression on their face. almost like they don't think you have it in you and it can drive you crazy. I mean even if you believe in yourself the part of you that yearns for the validation wants other people to believe in you too especially when it was someone you always thought was worth having their approval. If you're anything like me in this situation you want to say "you have no idea what I'm capable of", but pride keeps you from saying that aloud because you're thinking why should I have to defend myself. All you end up saying is nothing, but in your head you think, "Thanks for giving me another incentive to achieve my goals. Here's to proving you wrong." 
That way of thinking might fend off the doubt for the time being, but that voice of doubt will pop up in your head like a delayed reaction to a contagious disease the next time life starts stressing you out. You'll be wondering, "What if I'm not strong enough? What if I'm not courageous enough? What if I'm not smart enough?" Because sometimes life makes you feel so small and when your dreams are as big as mine it's scary as hell, but at that point you need to remind yourself that you can be anything you want and with a little determination you can get anywhere you want to go
. Sometimes, like a sign. you'll find some motivation where you least expect to. The world is funny that way. I found my motivation earlier today when I was looking at UC Berkeley's Website. I read that one of their Political Science alums,  Zarko Perovic, was named a Rhodes Scholar. Seeing someone who was in the same field that I plan on being in win a Rhodes Scholarship to study at Oxford was inspiring. It was even more inspiring when I read that he was born in Serbia. God, he must have felt so far away from his dreams, but look how close he is to them now. I also felt close to him when I read that he could read Latin, something I'm in the middle of learning. People always look at you funny when you say you're learning Latin. 
"Does anyone even speak Latin anymore?" 
"Um, no. It's a dead language." 
"Then why would you want to learn Latin?" 
I feel like that's something me and Perovic have in common. We love to learn things just for the sake of learning and we both seem to have the same craving to live a big life. That love of learning and that craving for an extraordinary life seemed to get him where he wanted to go and I hope it does the same thing for me. Of course, I don't really know any of this about him or know Zarko Perovic at all for that matter, but I feel like I do....and yes, apparently I am the kind of nerd who goes all fan girl for a Rhodes Scholar.  

If I'm being honest, I don't entirely know who I am yet. I don't even know who I want to be in the future. But I can tell you some things that I'll never let myself become. 

1. COLD: I want to be one of those people that tell the people they love that they love them everyday, multiple times a day even, like my aunts and my cousins do. When I have a house and a family of my own, I want to overuse the words "I love you", if that's even possible. Because I know it shouldn't be, but in a house like the one I grew up in, it was so easy to forget that you were loved...even still. You'd literally have to remind yourself that your family loved you in case you forgot. I can already picture putting little notes in the lunches I pack for my kids that say, "I love you to the moon and back. Never forget." So if  anyone ever asked them if their mom loved them my kids wouldn't hesitate before saying "Yes." instead of, "I don't know. She never tells me." which almost always translates to "I don't know. She never shows me." I'm never become unfeeling and distant, not towards my future children, not towards my future husband, not towards the rest of my family, not toward my friends, and not even towards my colleagues. Never. And a little advice to any readers out there: sometimes when life happens it seems easier to shut down and turn off your emotions, but there is someone out there that loves you and depends on you or someone waiting to love you that you just haven't met yet. Don't give up and remember not to live for yourself, but to live for others, for the people you love, and for the people that you are going to love. 
2. BITTER: I wanted to apologize for my-slightly bitter-first post "ONE THING". When people hurt my little sister my defenses go up which is a nice way of saying I get pissed off. You can probably relate though, and just in case you think that post was my cowardly way of venting, I actually confronted this person and told them exactly what I thought about what they were doing. Anyways, this situation dragged me back to the past, which doesn't do me or anyone else any good. The past shouldn't be drudged up. You should reflect on it, learn from it and then let it go. That's what keeps the bitterness away. I know more than most people what bitterness can do a person and I never want that to become who I am. That's why I'm letting it all go.